Bad Dreams

I started out this morning with ambitions.  I'm not sure where they all went. Shortly after sending Jordan off to school I became overwhelmed with exhaustion. I have no idea where it came from.  I felt I had slept relatively well the night before.  I woke up refreshed and got my morning routine done.  But, after everyone went off to school or work, and I was faced with an empty house, the ability to keep my eyes open failed me.  I figured most of what I needed to do could be accomplished later this afternoon so I gave in and took a nap.  Unfortunately, my nap ended up lasting 2 hours and I was almost late picking my son up from school.

During my siesta, I had a dream.  It ended up being one of those kinds of dreams that is so vivid, so real like that here I am 3 hours later and I'm still trying to shake that too real feeling.  I dreamed that I took Jordan to the doctor and he had to have a blood test because the doctor thought he had leukemia.  In order for him to not be so scared, I offered to let them draw my blood too so he could see that it wasn't so bad.  There was a mix up and rather than throwing my vial of blood away, the lab tested both of us.  It turns out that Jordan was fine, just a little anemic. However, I was the one diagnosed with leukemia.  The end of my dream involved a lot of people telling me to hang in there and that everything will be okay.  I'm still trying to shake the realism of this dream off right now.  I feel punch drunk.  It's as if I received this diagnosis in real life and I'm trying to come to grips with it.

This is why I hate taking naps.

Taking a break

I had to do it.  I had to say goodbye to Facebook for awhile.  After several attempts were made to eliminate certain people from my online "personal" life, I found the only way to completely eliminate them was to deactivate my account.  I was able to delete them from my friend's list however my posts were still visible to that person through the friends that we share.  I saw two options: delete my account and start over by using a pseudonym and hoping my friends would realize it was me and not a crazy person, or deactivate my account for awhile until I figure something else out.  I opted for the second one in hopes that the something better comes along and I can enjoy Facebook again.

Another reason I left FB for awhile is I found myself posting out of anger and resentment.  I made very personal status updates I normally wouldn't have done if I had been thinking clearly.  I don't mind sharing things like the funny stuff my son says or my plans for the day or something interesting that's happened to me.  I realized when I was posting ugly comments about my family because I was so hurt by them, that it was time for me to go.

I don't think this is goodbye forever.  In fact, I hope it isn't because I really enjoy keeping up with my friends and the things they are going through.  I just don't think it's a healthy place for me right now.  I can only hope my friends understand and will accept me back into their online lives... someday.

Where is my memory going?

I hate to admit it but I completely forgot about this blog. I've read so many books lately, all of which would have been great to talk about. Unfortunately, since I have the memory of a goldfish I've managed to not write about anything in a very long time.  I suppose I can start anew and write about the book I am currently reading which is Pretty in Plaid by Jennifer Lancaster. I absolutely love her books so reviewing this one is going to be a joy.

On a personal note, Jordan and I spent our last Saturday before school starts doing a couple fun things together. First, we went to The Pottery Barn where Jordan picked out a clay cat and I picked out a cute butterfly to paint. This was our first time trying anything artsy together and in the end we both gave it two thumbs up. We'll be going back again for sure. After that we headed out to Sunset Bay where we enjoyed an afternoon of fun in the sun. The beach was gorgeous, the sun was out, the wind was non-existent and according to Jordan the water was still cold. lol  That's Oregon life for ya. After that we headed up to Simpson Reef where we looked out onto the rocks and watched/listened to the Seals and Sea Lions bark.  I can't believe all of this beauty is only 10 miles from where we live.  To wrap our afternoon up we stopped at Dairy Queen on the way home for some ice cream.  Now it's time for baths, showers etc and calling it a day. I had a great time hanging out with my baby and the beach was spectacular but all that sun has produced a killer headache for me. I sure wish I knew why the sun gives me these bad headaches. It's one of the reasons I moved from Oklahoma to Washington. I knew we were headed for constant cloud cover.

I hope to be more diligent with my book reviews. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Sam's Letters to Jennifer by James Patterson - Review

For my first review project I chose Sam's Letters to Jennifer by James Patterson. You will find I may end up reviewing many of Mr. Patterson's books because, well, he's a fantastic author - one of my absolute favorites.  I enjoy how well he pens such diverse characters from Lindsay Boxer to Alex Cross and all the characters in-between.

Summary:

Sam's Letter's to Jennifer is a novel about learning to live life and find love even after tragedy. Jennifer is a woman drowning herself in work to escape from the death of her husband but after a devastating phone call, she finds herself thrown back into life once more.  Her grandmother, Sam, has fallen into a coma so Jennifer races back to the town she grew up in to be by her side.  While waiting for improvement, Sam discovers letters written to her by Sam.  In these letters contains a story she never thought she'd hear. A story she can hardly believe and completely turns her world upside-down.  Through these letters, Jennifer learns that no matter what cards are dealt to you in life, love is always there, waiting to be embraced. She also happens to meet a friend from her childhood who seems to have his own demons he's dealing with as well.  As they begin to trust and open up to one another, they both find their tragic tales have brought them together for a reason.

My Opinion:

I suppose it goes without saying, I really enjoyed this book. I found myself hoping for the fairy tale ending but knowing not every thing ends happily-ever-after.  I was able to connect with the character Jennifer, a woman that was so torn from heartbreak, she forgot that true love could happen, if she'd only let it. Reading Sam's letters to her opened a world not only to Jennifer but to myself as well. Finding out Sam's true story was inspiring.  Here's a woman that had already lived her life, raised a family and thought she was destined to continue in the same manner of just existing. Yet she finds another life that finally brings her joy and happiness.  For anyone that has loved and lost, no matter what type of loss it is, will truly be inspired by this novel.  What can I say? I'm a sucker for this kind of thing.

"We kissed under all those billions of twinkling stars. Then we kissed again, longer and harder. But that was it. There we stood, two people falling in love but separated by my marriage, our families, but especially his children, who were still at home with Doc." -pp 111-112

One of my favorite parts of a James Patterson book, is the short chapters. Many times, I only have a few short moments to read and the short chapters are very encouraging / enticing.  It leaves me wanting more.  If you are a reader with a short attention span or not much time between reading times, a James Patterson book like this is the way to go.


Sam's Letters to Jennifer
By: James Patterson
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Publication date: 2004
ISBN: 0-316-71057-1 (hard cover)
263 pages
Fiction

4/5 stars

The Beginning Of It All

After reading blogs from several people, some of whom I know, others - well, not so much, I realized I too could be blogging about my interests. If I'm interested enough in others opinions of books then I'm sure there are people out there that just might be interested in my opinions.  I don't claim to be an authority. In fact, in the grand scheme of things, I'd say I probably haven't read nearly enough in my life. But, I do enjoy it and I have tried to live my "reading" life by my dad's rule: Always give a book 300 pages before you decide whether you like it or not."  Now, not all books are going to be at least 300 pages.  Many will be less, and if that's the case then you can read all the way to the end before deciding.  I'd have to say there has only been a handful of times where I just flat out gave up on a horrible read.

This blog is intended to maybe get others interested in books they may not have otherwise picked up before.  A word of warning though: I sometimes get fixated on a particular author or series. Hey, when I like something I don't want to stray until I'm ready to move on.  I hope that if nothing else happens with this blog, I get at least one person interested in grabbing a book and checking it out.

Happy Reading!