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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Bad Dreams

I started out this morning with ambitions.  I'm not sure where they all went. Shortly after sending Jordan off to school I became overwhelmed with exhaustion. I have no idea where it came from.  I felt I had slept relatively well the night before.  I woke up refreshed and got my morning routine done.  But, after everyone went off to school or work, and I was faced with an empty house, the ability to keep my eyes open failed me.  I figured most of what I needed to do could be accomplished later this afternoon so I gave in and took a nap.  Unfortunately, my nap ended up lasting 2 hours and I was almost late picking my son up from school.

During my siesta, I had a dream.  It ended up being one of those kinds of dreams that is so vivid, so real like that here I am 3 hours later and I'm still trying to shake that too real feeling.  I dreamed that I took Jordan to the doctor and he had to have a blood test because the doctor thought he had leukemia.  In order for him to not be so scared, I offered to let them draw my blood too so he could see that it wasn't so bad.  There was a mix up and rather than throwing my vial of blood away, the lab tested both of us.  It turns out that Jordan was fine, just a little anemic. However, I was the one diagnosed with leukemia.  The end of my dream involved a lot of people telling me to hang in there and that everything will be okay.  I'm still trying to shake the realism of this dream off right now.  I feel punch drunk.  It's as if I received this diagnosis in real life and I'm trying to come to grips with it.

This is why I hate taking naps.

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